Interviews

CDL 40: The Spousal Effect…

Cash Flow Dad Life

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So the big question is this, what would you do if money didn’t matter? So you had millions in your bank account, what would you focus on? Would you spend more time with your family, with your wife, with your kids? Take family vacations.

Would you pursue your gifts and talents and dreams? Serve your local community, teach others, serve your church. You see if what you would do if money didn’t matter, it was pursuing your gifts and talents and dreams to serve others, and that is probably what you should be doing.

The problem is most people are in the rat race, living five inches in front of their face with no time to pursue what they were born to do. That is the problem, and the solution is to develop enough passive income to replace your working income so you can quit your job and be free to live your life the way you were created to.

That is a solution and this podcast will show you how…

Hey, what’s up everybody? Welcome to another awesome episode of the Cash Flow Dad Life podcast…

Today, we have an amazingly, gorgeous co-host, or a guest, on the show. Definitely the prettiest guest that I’ve ever had on here. My wife Danielle, say hey to everybody.

Danielle Enk: Hey, what’s up?

Ryan Enk: And I invited her on today because we’re going to be talking about the spousal affect, the way people get started with investments or have success with those investments, maintain motivation with those investments.

If they have a spouse, the spouse plays a huge role in that. So we’re going to be going over some of the problems that some people might have in getting started that have to do with the spouses and even, you know, give some tips on how to like really address those issues. But before we get started, I want to read you guys the review of the week.

If you haven’t reviewed the podcast yet, please, let’s make it official. Just like subscribe, write me a review and I really appreciate the shout out. So this one comes from Joe. Ps a says, eye opening experience gave me five stars.

He said, “Ryan’s content has been eye-opening. Ryan is a normal guy, just like me. He makes it seem possible to change my family’s lives through real estate investing. I highly recommend this podcast…”

Thank you so much Joe. I really appreciate that shout out…

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So back to our show with my smoking hot guest in my whole life…

Let’s talk about the spousal effect. And here’s what it is right here. If you’re a real American, you have probably watched the rocky Balboa movies and there’s a lot of movies like this with the same theme, but in a lot of rocky movies, Adrian doesn’t want them to fight for whatever reason she’s afraid or she’s worried.

When Adrian doesn’t want him to fight, the relationship is in terminal. He, he just can’t do it. He needs to fight, provide, but without her support, he loses. His head’s not right.

His training is off and I know for me when my relationship with my wife is out of whack, then it starts to affect all the other things I have to do that day. I just can’t be successful without her love and support, but fortunately my wife has always been a support for me when I decided to pursue new ventures.

Crazy stuff like opening up an indoor sports arena, investing in real estate. One time, she was okay with me flying to Canada to figure out how to run an indoor painful operation, start an Amazon business. She has always been a great source of strength and support for me.

But one major problem I see a lot in both my students and other people that want to start new ventures. Basically people want to just kind of pursue their dreams, pursue their passions, and do it in a business smart way is that their spouse doesn’t support the new venture, which obviously makes it hard to start.

So I want to invite my wife on the show to share the story from her perspective, but also because many of our friends and acquaintances have had dreams about getting started in pursuing a new life. But then they were held back a little bit by their spouse.

And it wasn’t until after they talked to Danielle, she had some sort of magic, I don’t know what you told them, which is why I’m having her on the show that they are able to overcome their fears and they’re able to take the leap of faith in starting something new that really changed the lives for the better and those people.

So Danielle, first of all, can you share with everyone our story from your perspective? And you know, I know I’ve put you through a lot with my crazy ideas. What has given you that trust in the new ventures that that’s what has made you want to support them with them?

empowered the right people so the company can run trust in youDanielle Enk: Well, first of all, for me, I think that the biggest reality check that when I’ve talked to other people,and  I had to realize myself, was my confidence was based on my trust in you.

And if you look back, it’s really about getting to know the person that you’re married to.

Danielle Enk:…I mean, from day one it’s been our building and building and building upon our relationships. So getting to know how you think, getting to know how your heart works and getting to see you in action. Putting your thoughts into action, putting your plans and action reaching goals.

So when you’ve come to me all along the way with new ideas and new goals, each step along the way I’ve, I’ve had that trust in you and that comfort because I know you and know your drive and your.

One of your greatest strengths is that you’re a very persistent and you persevere even when things get tough, so there’s a level of trust in you because, like I said, that’s my number one that I would say in the list is that I’ve gotten to know you. So there’s a knowledge of growing together and learning each other.

Ryan Enk: So when some of our friends’ wives have come to you with fears of taking new risks on a new venture, you know, and a lot of times, you know, they know each other really well. What are some of the fears that they have had that have held them back?

Danielle Enk: Well, I think it’s the biggest, it’s the fear of the unknown. I mean it’s just because it’s a whole new world. They’ve never had any experience of even anybody around them doing this type of thing.

So that’s one of the things that I bring to light whenever I’ve talked to other women is that really what you’re facing and what you’re talking about and what you’re feeling is a fear of the unknown.

And so my biggest challenge to myself, my biggest challenge to other people is that to not hold back and life out of fear because that’s where, you know, the evil one wants us to stay.

And so I’ve always really appreciated that strength in you, that you always pursue your passions and where your, your drives are and you don’t hold back because of fear because then…

I mean, look what we wouldn’t have, you wouldn’t have done if you wouldn’t have, you know, if you have so much you’ve accomplished because you’ve set for your side and put it in its place.

Ryan Enk: Now going back to how you answered that first question is something you said in your second question. You know, the, the first question you said you had a lot of trust in me.

And then, the second question you mentioned that being in a place of fear is where the Evil one wants you to be. Just to paint the background to our listeners, we are very devoutly Christian.

And I would say that, you know, I’ve given you plenty of reasons not to trust in me in ways that I provide financially. Would you say that there’s probably more of an underlying foundation of more trusting in God’s divine providence and the way that he’s guiding me?

Danielle Enk: Yes, yes. More so than trusting in you because of, I think it’s a springboard. It’s because of our relationship has since day one, just even back when we were just dating has been founded on that rock. Like we’ve put God first and we want him to be in the center of our relationship.

So one of the things we do each day is we start off praying together…

Well, that’s built a foundation for me in our relationship where there is a trust because I know that there’s this connection that you have with God, a connection that we together collectively as a couple have with God. So when we are faced with big decisions or were, you know, thinking about, well, should we even try this? Should we do this? You know, whatever life brings us.

I feel very confident in taking steps forward with you. Even in the unknown because we’re doing it together and I know that we’re rooted in that relationship with God and I trust that he’s going to lead us and take care of us.

Danielle Enk: And even if there are failures along the way in the world size, like, you know, for business doesn’t succeed. Or um, you know, if we invest in a house and it, that’s a flop, you know, here and there, I know that those are just little stepping stones along the way that are bringing us closer to that big success and that end goal.

You know, and I feel like all these things along the way, whenever you come to me with new ideas or adventures, they’re all just steps along the way. And you know, we have one life to live. So I’ll never want to be aPersonal Reflection Thankful Plan end in mind why you do what you dony hindrance to you live in, out your goal and being the best version of yourself.

So I trust that you know, if this is the message you’re hearing from God, who am I? I don’t want to stand in the way I’ve got and, and, and control you, you know, and not let you pursue what he’s placed on your heart.

Ryan Enk: You know, what’s interesting is a lot of times when I’ve, I’ve come up with things, you know, a lot of people, they get approached by their spouse and it’s like a money making scheme. Like, “Hey, this is how much money we can make over here, how much money we can make over there…”

When I approached you the first time when I was, you know, I’d, I was working that job in corporate America and I was just miserable in the job and I was thinking to myself, what would I do if money didn’t matter? And I said, well, I, you know, money didn’t matter.

So I had a million dollars in the bank account. I’d open up an indoor sports arena, uh, or I’d play music or something like that. Or I’d helped, you know, I teach other people and without even having that conversation with you before in our life, I called you and asked you.

I said, “Hey, well, what could you see me doing if money didn’t matter?” And you said, “I don’t know, maybe opening up an indoor sports arena or something like that or play music or something like that.”

What’s interesting is, you know, a lot of people when they’re going on new ventures, a lot of people forget to keep the end in mind and the end is always who do you want to serve? How do you want to serve them and why do you want to serve them? So do you want to invest in real estate because you want more free time to spend with your family, with your kids, with your wife.

Do you want to invest in real estate or do you want to start a new business venture because you want to serve your community because it’s going to make people happy.

I think a problem, would you agree that, you know, a problem that a lot of people have is maybe they start things out with just, “Hey, I want to make money and not necessarily on, hey, this is who I want to serve, how I want to serve them and why I want to serve them?”

Danielle Enk: Oh yeah, definitely. When we miss prioritize our goals in life and our reasons for why we are even here, then things start to crumble around us.

So when you first came to me years ago about wanting to go out on your own and start your own businesses and and pursue different passions, it was easy and it was clear for me to support that because I can hear your heart and your heart was willing to serve more of this world, more of this community in a capacity that you were being restricted of really serving before in your other job.

So it was. It’s those types of reasons that, that along the way, knowing that that’s what’s fueling you has given me the confidence and the peace to follow you and support you along each venture.

Danielle Enk: So that decision was made before looking at proforma before looking at spreadsheets before running numbers. It was just a decision to pursue something that we both mutually connected on. And I think that that would be definitely a key takeaway is, you know, you have to have a connection with your spouse on what the end game is.

You need to have a connection on what, what do we both want to pursue together before you get into the how are we going to do that before you get into, well there’s this, you know, House that has this ROI and this, you know, requires this investment, you need to agree on the end game.

What does that provide, you know, just because that investment in and of itself, you know, that’s, that’s not worth trusting somebody on, you know?

Danielle Enk: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say in this, in this world, something that I’ve learned from you is the word investment and everything. All these different professional goals that you have our investments into, you know, something or some area of, of the community.

And I would say, you know, first for all your listeners, like the biggest, most important investment that we should have in our life, first is obviously our relationship with our God, but our relationship with our spouse because, you know, going into making all these life decisions.

MMA Rocky Balboa AdrianeYou brought up rocky Balboa and Adrian, you know, they need each other, they need that rock is what is even giving them the capability and it’s what has given us the capability to pursue and be successful in life and be able to serve more of the people around us because you and I are connected and it’s like we’re a team, you know, and we can go out there and conquer, you know.

Ryan Enk: Right. So if we could, if you could list them because you have more of your ear to the, uh, the wives…

Oh, by the way, if, uh, if you guys hear a little critter in the background is because we’re doing this podcast from home and when we got our little two year old here to just woke up from his nap…but yeah, we tried to settle my snacks in the movie, but this guy is just an unstoppable force…

So if you could list like some of the things, like what do you hear from wives that their husband wants to start something or pursue something like what are the fears? Is that fear of a new venture becoming a priority over them as a fear of failure? Hold on…

Is it fear of failure, of losing money or fear of the capabilities of the spouse? Like what are some of the things that you know, why it was, are afraid of?

Danielle Enk: Well, it’s interesting that that’s your, that’s your list. Because I think of her, I mean I’ve heard all of the above that you just listed. It’s just different for different personalities, different people’s situations that they’re in. I would say I would answer that.

I would go back to what I even said before is it’s all about really in a nutshell, it’s fear of the unknown. I mean not knowing it’s all the what if’s and the what ifs. And so I, I tried to talk to them and give them peace in the fact of like, when you’re thinking of the what ifs, don’t let yourself even think of worst case scenario.

I mean, sure you can prudently and responsibly look at the worst case scenario, but bug plan for that and plan ahead..

I think that’s something that’s great that we’ve done is okay, well best case scenario and worst case scenario-that when you lay those things out for me it’s easy because it puts things in simpler for them since I’m not in that business economic world, but for women, I think the main thing is we just need to just have that connection with you, with our spouse and so just have that open line of communication.

It helps when you have sat me down and had like meetings so to speak or like business meetings with me to fill me in and to break things down in a simpler form so that I’m not in the unknown.

Danielle Enk: So when you’ve informed me and you’ve educated me, it’s really helped, um, to just shed light on the car.

I mean, I keep repeating myself with the same word, but it shed light on the unknown, you know, you know, for me so that I can actually take each step with you with more of an educated.

Just an interesting approach…

there are two main problems people must overcome faith christian explore the unknownRyan Enk: Yeah. One of the things that I always say is that, you know, a lot of people, instead of, instead of exploring the world of the unknown, they just see the unknown as a risk and therefore they don’t pursue it. But risk is always, always, always decreased by knowledge. And once you, you know, just learn more about something, then you can address things.

So, you know, would you say that it’s helpful? I know that, you know, the way that men’s brains are different than women’s brains, that we’re Kinda, we’re more compartmentalized like a waffle, like this section. And then let’s move on to this section and this section.

And the woman’s brain is more like spaghetti where it’s, you know, it’s all over the place, but it’s all connected, you know, those are the analogies I’ve heard before, you know…

And so, you know, my approach, which is typically like, “Alright, well let’s list out the exact fears you know, is, is this a fear, you know, are you worried about this number or this projection?”

And then exploring the unknown of those fears and getting those questions answered before moving forward. Do you think that’s a good approach? Would you recommend that for people?

Danielle Enk: Oh yeah, yeah, exactly. That’s kind of what I was alluding is that, you know, when you’ve sat down with me and you’ve listed out and that’s what I’m saying, you’ve educated me in all the different unknowns. So it has brought clarity and peace to, to pursue a move forward.

But I just, I know that what has come up a lot from people I’ve talked to is that it’s that question of like, well, how do you know? Like, how do you know? And I’m just like, well, I don’t know.

But what I do know, like I don’t know the future, I don’t know how it’s going to unfold, but this is what I do know. And this is what fuels me every day of my married life, is what I do know is that when, when you, when my husband is living out his passions and he’s pursuing his goals, he’s living free.

Danielle Enk: I mean, you’re the best version of yourself. You’re more, you’re more underlying all that true peace that, that true joy, that confidence, that, that bravery, you know, that manliness, that, that is just what every man I think you know, holds and wants to exhibit.

And when you were free, and when I’ve seen you go from one version of yourself to another, when you are free living free and living confident and pursuing you are on fire. And to go back to the Rocky series, I can definitely say that that plot line holds very similar to our life and how you have approached fights and there’s been small, you know, there’s been small defeats along the way and we’ve failed at things, you know, along the way.

And we’ve stumbled and fallen and we’ve been lesser of ourselves, you know, at times. But I really can say that, um, when we keep this, this vision and this goal and this, this value prioritize, then it’s amazing the man that you are and the strength that you have to even go throughout each day.

Ryan Enk: Well, thank you so much. I just caught the tail end of that guys because a while Danielle was complimenting me, which I’ll probably play again on repeat. I heard the toilet flush in the other room and it sent a panic down my spine because potty training to you.

I’m not sure if he flushed his own stuff down or a juror lego. So, I’ll have to go back and listen to that compliment later.

It sounds like you said some nice things about me, but if there’s just one thing that someone should do immediately when they don’t have their spouses support, if you could just leave us with one, a word of advice, one recommendation, what would that be?

Danielle Enk: Well, honestly, I would say investment. I would invest back into your space, invest into him, invest into her so that you first could even form that trust each other.

And that teamwork bond that you have when you feel like a team, when you feel united, you have that, that trust and that confidence to move forward into the unknown, into the next thing that you’re faced with.

Ryan Enk: Awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming on the show. Really appreciate it. I love you. Alright. Thank you guys. We’ll see you the next episode.

Thanks for listening. Please remember to rate and subscribe. You’re going to want to listen to every episode as soon as it comes out. It hasn’t been an idea or strategy that can literally change your life.

Listen, don’t miss out on the free investor pools that I have on my website https://cashflowdadlife.com/. So go to https://cashflowdadlife.com/ gets a free swag and lists and hit me up. If you want to talk about how we can get you out of the rat race as soon as possible. Until next time. My name is Ryan Enk and this was Cash Flow Dad Life!

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